I was never “cool” enough to make songs about drugs. Until today?? Everybody loves grape leaves, music, and dolma recipes…so why not combine all of the them while making delicious Arabic food in the process?

Spoiler: No, still not cool :'(

Recipe below!

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Music tracks by Ben Karlstrom.

LYRICS:

Chilling, killing time, take a look at the clock
and then I’m turning to my mom I say “you wanna do a pot?”
She asks if it’s illegal. “We mustn’t! We can’t!”
but then I tell her “Mamma please, you know, it’s just a green plant…”

So we “blaze up the pot” after we “roll them up tight”
Oh yes the effort is “joint,” we’ll get the “munchies” tonight
We’re seeing smoke, we’re seeing vapor, unmistakable stink
but we are Arab, ya habibi, it is not what you think, we’re doing…

Grape Leaves. Grape Leaves, my friend.
Grape Leaves. Grape Leaves again.
I can’t eat only one…I can’t eat only one…
I can’t eat only one…I can’t eat only one…

They say it’s not addictive, they say you can’t O.D.
but anybody who’s said that has not met Umo Mudeed
You see he tried to defy it but the scent was incredible
I think it was the first time he “experimented with edibles”

But doing drugs you’ll never see me, no I don’t want a probation
though we do have an argeeleh it is just for decoration
Cuz saying no to drugs isn’t too hard too decide
Cuz when I take a bite of these you’re on a “magic carpet ride”

and when we sit back on the couch, I swear, my mind just isn’t stopping
all I’m thinking ’bout is how I want to “Ride the Green Toboggan”
The “Iraqi Tobaccy.” The “Pine-Nutty Express.”
wanna roll a “Dolma Doobie?” You can’t do so unless you’re eating…

CHORUS

Grape Leaves!

RECIPE:

This recipe is for the pot we made. Multiply or divide as you’d like for bigger or smaller pots.

Ingredients:
1 jar of CALIFORNIA Grape Leaves (if jar says China, Turkey, or “PRC,” go to a different store and look for California ones!)
~2 lbs ground beef
~1.5 cups of white rice, rinsed but not cooked.
~1 scoops of salt
~half scoop of pepper
~half scoop of allspice
Lamb (if you prefer beef, use beef. if you prefer chicken, HAVE YOU NOT HAD BEEF OR LAMB???)
A few tomatoes, peeled and chopped.
A lemon or lemon juice.

Part 1:
-Season lamb with salt and pepper, to taste. Put a pot on high heat and add lamb to bottom of the pot until bottom of pot is covered. Brown both sides of the lamb, then remove from heat.
-After pot has cooled a while, peel tomatoes, chop, and pour tomatoes atop the browned lamb. Spread evenly.

Part 2:
-Rinse and dry grape leaves, and cut off stems. You can cut the larger leaves in half, just remove the middle stem all the way through when doing so.
-In a large bowl, mix the ground beef, rinsed rice, salt, pepper, and allspice.
-Roll the beef/rice mixture into some grape leaves as pictured in the video.
-Place rolled grape leaves atop lamb/tomato in the pot. Start along the edge and coil inward as seen in video. Pack tightly!
-When you have covered the pot entirely with a row of grape leaves, start another level! Repeat until you are out of grape leaves!

Part 3:

-Place a plate upside down atop the pot. This will keep grape leaves in place when water is added.
-Add water to the pot until grape leaves are covered in water.
-Season the water with salt and the juice of a lemon.
-Put pot on high heat. When pot begins to boil, lower heat to simmer. Cover and cook until water is absorbed.

Part 4:

-THIS STEP CAN BE DANGEROUS! Get a large plate or platter and cover the top of the pot. Flip pot over. If you are not comfortable doing this, just scoop the grape leaves out of the pot.
-Prepare to be high-fived by your friends and family.

Sa7tein! 🙂