Laptop: The Rap

I got a new laptop. Then this happened. Hope you like it!

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Music by Overcoast

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LYRICS:

It’s my new laptop
that’s the truth, I ain’t frontin’
and no I can’t stop
when it comes to pushing these buttons

It’s just amazing
it’s an electrical find
you must be crazy
for not having a laptop like mine

It’s so elite, look
it’s popular with the females’
you’d need a meat hook
to stop me from checking my emails

It’s got a keyboard
two kinds of brackets, you’ll find
it’s got the staple ones
and the squiggly kind

It’s got an alt key
I’m not quite sure what it does
but that don’t halt me
from pressing it just because

It’s got a touch pad
yeah, that’s right, it’s a rad mouse
red dot in the center
just like the flag of Japan, pow!

It won’t forsake me
it’s just absurd in itself
you’d have to make me
do my work on something else

It’s got a fat microprocessor
running like a kilometer
are you the Merrimac? What?
Watch out for the Monitor!

It’s got so much beauty
ain’t got a tad of pollution
it’s just like Judge Judy
you’re getting mad resolution

It’s got a fingerprint scanner
like you’re launcing a torpedo
but all mine ever blabbers is that
“you just ate a Cheeto”

No, it ain’t no beater
all the hackers be wishing
you’d think I was PETA
the way I’m avoiding phishing

I got a Core 2–
no Apple could say that, I swear
unless that apple happened to be
talking to a pear

This ain’t just flattery
it’s got the lithium fluids
so much battery
it’s like it’s Chris Brown’s to-do list

Could be a hat if it’s raining
or a coat if it’s chilly
You could even run Vista
well now you’re just being sillyv

Multitasking
I can type up my documents
while I’m blasting
Yanni at the Acropolis

Kt’s just the baddest
come on, just wait for it
update my status
I’m in a relationship

With a laptop.